[Commentlog] | [closed] - backdated to earlier in the human event

[detectivetroll]

[After talking with Julian and Kagerou on the journals and promising to drop by their rooms with dinner, Nick heads down to the kitchen. Monroe isn't really coming out of his room at the moment, either, which means Nick is pretty much just a food delivery service tonight.

Maybe he should try to get tips.

After grilling up some chicken, potatoes, and bread, and slicing up tomatoes and cheese, Nick brings the lot up to the barracks. He stops by Julian's room first, knocking on the door and announcing his presence.

He picks up some ale before he goes to Kagerou's room, because hell, if Kagerou's human, he might as well have some beer, too. Even if it isn't an Oregon microbrew.]

Comments

[detectivetroll]

[Quit being surprised, man, Nick is a very touchy guy.

At least he's stopped choking, though Nick continues to look concerned until Kagerou makes his comment about the alcohol. Then he grins a little.]

That's because it's not an Oregon micro-brew. But it's the best they've got.

[fuckinstoplights]

[He's used to one other person and a handful of engineers touching him. And the latter only did so when he needed repairs and whatnot.]

[He stares into the bottle, still making a face.]

Micro. Brew.

I want gasoline.

[detectivetroll]

[Okay, fair point. Nick'll just have to keep doing it until he's used to it, then.]

Yeah. Portland had more breweries than any other city in the world.

[The tone of his voice is fond, wistful. He misses home.

Then he looks up, making a face.]

Not a good idea while you're human, man. At best, it'll make you sick. At worst, it'll do a lot more damage.

[fuckinstoplights]

[You might want to wait until he has some clothes on, man. Otherwise, everyone is going to get the wrong idea.]

[He tilts his head sharply, though, listening. Thinking. A gesture not really found in a human's repertoire.]

Where is that?

[Then he's back to scowling.]

Nothing else tastes right.

[... never mind he 'drinks' his fuel through his robot-crotch.]

[detectivetroll]

[No, it's definitely not. It kind of reminds Nick of a bird, actually, though he keeps that to himself.]

Portland? It's in Oregon. Uh, the United States.

[The scowl makes him smile a little.]

Yeah, dude, I can imagine. But as long as you're human, gasoline is going to be a no go. If it helps, a lot of people don't like beer. Hell, I don't even really like what's here all that much.

[fuckinstoplights]

[How accurate that description is, Nick. Someday, you'll see.]

United States. I know what that is.

[Thankfully, Nick doesn't have to explain that much. He pokes at the food again, before going back to the alcohol. It's more familiar than solid food, anyway.]

It doesn't help much. I'm tired of being human.

[detectivetroll]

[And that day will be so awesome.]

Oh, good. Well, yeah, that's where I'm from.

[Nick takes a drink of his own beer.]

It won't last long. Hopefully not more than a week or two.

[fuckinstoplights]

I only know its name and location. Nothing else is in my databanks.

[Because he hadn't needed anything else. He studies the bottle in his hand, sighing slowly.]

If it's longer than that, I blame you.

[detectivetroll]

I could tell you more, if you wanted.

[Not that it matters much, but Nick's always willing to talk about Portland.

Then he snorts, giving a wry chuckle.]

Yeah, yeah. I get blamed for everything. But it shouldn't be, not based on the evidence.

[fuckinstoplights]

If you want to.

[He'd probably listen, regardless of what Nick was saying. Listening is something that doesn't require a lot of social skills. So he's... good at it. More or less.]

[He takes a cautious sip of the alcohol again.]

What if the evidence says it is your fault?

[detectivetroll]

Everything is green, there. There's a river that cuts right through the town, and even in downtown, there's a ton of parks. And the people are -

[He laughs.]

Interesting.

[Nick takes a sip of his beer as well.]

I meant it shouldn't last longer than a week or two, based on the evidence. But hey, if the evidence says it's my fault, by all means, blame me.

[fuckinstoplights]

It sounds nice. Like a place I would want to see.

[A place he'd never had the chance to see, really. Sure, this place was all right, but...]

[There was a limit here. To how high and how far you could go.]

Mm.

Then I will... deal. For a week.

[detectivetroll]

You can visit, when we get out of here.

[It's more complicated than that, Nick knows, especially when involving the possibility of other planets, but that has no place when making plans over drinks.]

It's not so bad, being human. There's things you could try that you can't as a robot.

[fuckinstoplights]

I have nothing to go back to. It would be nice.

[He can't go back to the one who matters most. So what else is there?]

Like what?

[detectivetroll]

[...awkward. And also really sad. Nick takes a moment to take another drink.]

You have something now, at least.

[Nothing that can compare, but still.]

Well, food and beer, for one, though not as much the second, since we're not in Oregon. You could go swimming in the lake. Get drunk, though you shouldn't combine those two. Have sex. Though you shouldn't combine that with getting drunk, either.

[Nick stop talking now.]

i regret nothing

[fuckinstoplights]

[He doesn't look at him. Just nods, ever so slightly.]

Yes. It... looks that way.

[Quietly, his listens, cataloging those options away for later. He doesn't think he can swim, but...]

[Then he blinks, and tilts his head to one side, frowning.]

... have what?

[Hi Nick. I am less than a year old and what is sex.]

[detectivetroll]

[Nick doesn't reply to that, but smiles, just a bit, glad to be able to at least offer that.

And then the smile turns to pretty much a deer in headlights look at Kagerou's question, because what.

No, really, what. This is - they were buddies have drinks, man, that is not the kind of question that is supposed to come up.]

...tell me you've heard of sex before.

[fuckinstoplights]

[The deer in the headlights look is returned by a blank stare.]

[Seriously, Nick, he's a robot. What did you think he was going to answer?]

... I can't tell you that.

[detectivetroll]

[...that he'd had the talk with someone else? Anyone else?

Seriously who builds a robot with human intelligence and feelings and doesn't tell him about sex. Didn't they consider the possibility that he'd be having drinks with an unsuspecting human friend sometime in the future?]

Uh. Okay. Well. It's something humans do, as a means of procreation. Or just to have fun. Usually just to have fun.

[No this isn't awkward at all.]

[fuckinstoplights]

[... Saejima would probably have had no problem educating his robots on the subject. Toudou on the other hand...]

[So, no, he's a bit clueless on the entire subject. Which means he just ends up staring at Nick, still blank. He's clearly waiting for more of an explanation than that.]

But... what is it?

[detectivetroll]

[Damn it Toudou.

Nick needs more to drink to deal with this, which means he pretty much downs the rest of his beer.]

Right. Well, it involves parts. That interlock.

[No seriously what is he supposed to say. Nick hadn't exactly planned on giving any version of The Talk any time soon.]

When two people who are interested in each other, in more than just friendship - or sometimes not even friendship, just sexually - they, well, have sex. For a man and a woman, that usually involves the man putting his penis in the woman's vagina. For two guys, or two girls, it's different, but just as fun. Or probably for the two girls, anyway, but I can't exactly say that from personal experience.

[Okay, tangents, Nick needs to not go on them.]

It's a part of a relationship, usually. Two people who love each other, or have a connection to each other. It's a way to be intimate, to feel pleasure and make your partner feel pleasure in return.

[fuckinstoplights]

[Oh, interlocking parts. He can understand that.]

[But then the conversation keeps going. His head slowly tilts to one side. Honestly? He has never heard some of these words before. There was no reason to. He was just going to have his memory wiped, so why load him down with too much data he wasn't going to use.]

[And... some of this isn't adding up.]

If you need interlocking parts, how does... it happen if you have two of one?

[Yes, Nick, he is asking this question.]

Do... you need to do this...? To feel a connection...?

[detectivetroll]

[...right, of course he asked that. Clearly this conversation wasn't done until Nick had to awkwardly attempt to explain gay sex.]

Well, then it's never for procreation, strictly for fun or intimacy. Even if you have two of one, there's still ways to, uh, interlock. There's a lot of things you can do with hands and mouths and other parts.

[This would be so much easier if they had access to the internet right now. Nick is really hoping he doesn't have to go into more detail than that, because he's only had enough alcohol to make this mildly less awkward.]

No, you don't. A lot of times, you feel the connection before. But sometimes it makes the connection stronger. And it's a way of expressing what you feel.

[fuckinstoplights]

[He appears to process this in silence, toying with the bottle in his hands.]

What if you don't have any of those interlocking parts...? But... you want to make it stronger, anyway?

[Congratulations, Nick. You've progressed from being asked about gay sex to gay robot sex. How does that feel?]

[detectivetroll]

[Silence is good. Silence means he's hopefully getting it, or at least he's not asking any more awkward questions.

Until that. So yes, apparently this conversation can get more weird and more awkward. If ever Nick wanted to know what could top having to explain sex to a man who looked like he was Nick's age, here it is.]

Is this the one you were talking about, back home?

[Nick's assuming yes, though, no matter Kagerou's answer.]

I don't think that's something anyone can tell you. That's the kind of thing you have to try for yourself, to see what works for you both. What you like, what feels good. You could always start with kissing.