detectivetroll | [Commentlog] | [closed] - backdated to earlier in the human event

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[Commentlog] | [closed] - backdated to earlier in the human event

[After talking with Julian and Kagerou on the journals and promising to drop by their rooms with dinner, Nick heads down to the kitchen. Monroe isn't really coming out of his room at the moment, either, which means Nick is pretty much just a food delivery service tonight.

Maybe he should try to get tips.

After grilling up some chicken, potatoes, and bread, and slicing up tomatoes and cheese, Nick brings the lot up to the barracks. He stops by Julian's room first, knocking on the door and announcing his presence.

He picks up some ale before he goes to Kagerou's room, because hell, if Kagerou's human, he might as well have some beer, too. Even if it isn't an Oregon microbrew.]

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That's good to know. A lot of people, it takes them a lot longer to even start to figure that out.

[He's speaking from personal experience, here, given his current relationship troubles. Even before all of this happened.

Nick's quiet for a minute, watching Kagerou closely.]

What about when we get out of here?

I'm not like a lot of people. I... think maybe I always had it figured out.

[If only because there never was anyone else in his life he'd ever wanted to be close to. To be near. To be with.]

[At the question, though, he looks away, toying with the bottle.]

That's what I... what I meant.

It wouldn't be possible. Even when we get out of here.

[Nick smiles a bit at that.]

No, you're definitely not like a lot of people I know. But yeah, I get that. Realizing you've known something for a long time, and wondering why you hadn't thought about it earlier.

[He considers, debating letting it go at that, or asking more. But well, why not? That's what drinking beers like this is for, anyway.]

Why not?

I'm not like anyone. Here, or back there, either. [He quiets again, and nods.] But... I didn't know it was possible, earlier.

[He takes a deep breath, blowing it out slowly. That's a new sensation, but a calming one. This is never an easy story to tell.]

... If I go back, I'll be captured. Erased. Killed.

And... I promised him I would live.

[Essentially promising never to return, never to see the reason he exists. Again.]

You're not. But in all fairness, no one is. It's just something to like about you.

[Though it's possibly Nick's biased, considering a lot of his friends aren't exactly what could be thought of as normal.

...and that isn't anything like what Nick was expecting. He knows Kagerou'd been on the run, from people who wanted to do that, but he hadn't connected it to the one Kagerou'd left behind.]

The people who want to do that to you, he's with them?

Is it really? I hadn't thought of it that way.

[No, really, he hadn't thought of it like that. He was always different. It set him apart from the other Brave Police units. Even from Shadowmaru...]

[There's a little shrug, and he pulls his knees up to his chest.]

He was made to be a part of their team. So... yes. I can only assume he joined them...

... after he let me escape.

Maybe not to everyone, but it is to me. I may not look it, but I'm different, too.

[He had been even growing up, though apparently he has a reason for that, now.]

'He was made to.' So I'm guessing he didn't have much of a choice?

[Nick has a thing about choices, man. Lately everyone's been trying to take his away from him, because of what he apparently is.]

You're right. You don't look it. You... just look human.

[And all human beings are exactly the same, right, Kagerou?]

[He shrugs again, resting his chin on his knees.]

Neither one of us did, no. But I was... happy. To have him as the reason I existed. He was worth living for. He still is.

But he was meant to be a part of them. They needed someone with his capabilities.

I thought I was. But I'm a Grimm. I can see things, do things, that most humans can't.

[That's all right, if Nick can tell Kagerou about sex, he can teach him that not all humans are the same.

Nick frowns slightly at that. It sounds familiar, being needed, being meant to do something, even if it conflicts with what you wanted.]

When we get back, couldn't he leave? Escape, like you did?

You're grim? See what?

[He's trying to understand this. Really, he is.]

[His head cants to the side again, that same, animal like jerk.]

Why would he?

He's... where he should be, after all.

A Grimm. It's a family name, apparently. And I see... well, creatures. What Monroe turned into, back when we were getting Change out? Where I'm from, humans can't see that.

[In all honesty, Nick's still trying to understand this. It's kind of a figure it out as he goes thing.]

But it doesn't sound like he's where he wants to be.

But I saw it. Is that because I'm not human, either?

[Maybe he couldn't see it now... but he hadn't been human at the time.]

[He shakes his head again.]

I don't know that. He seemed fine. I can't... answer that for him...

Probably, yeah. Or for all I know, in a place that randomly turns everyone human, the rules could work differently, here. But I can see him, them, even when they don't want me to.

[So far that, at least, had been working reasonably well here.

Nick tilts his head at that, considering.]

You could ask him, when we get back.

You should ask the other humans. See if your theory is right.

[He shuts his eyes, as if in pain. Then he shakes his head.]

I've said I can't do that. I can't speak to him.

... I can't see him.

That's a good idea.

[Although he'll have to figure out what he's going to say carefully, since he doesn't want to out Monroe.]

You could call him. Email him, find a go between?

[His expression flickers. The barest of smirks. Not even a real smile, but, hey. It's a start.]

I have them, from time to time.

[As for the question, he shakes his head.]

Doing that... I would need a way to do all of that. I don't think there would be any humans willing to help someone like me.

[It's good enough for Nick, man, he's used to dealing with someone whose default expression is 'ridiculously cranky.' He counts that as a win, and gives a bit of a smirk back.]

Shouldn't have said that, now I'll expect more.

[Nick bites the corner of his lip lightly, thinking.]

There must be someone. Hell, I could help.

[It vanishes abruptly, as the ninjabot ducks his head, as if embarrassed.]

I'm used to high expectations.

[After all, he had to outdo Shadowmaru, didn't he? In order to better train him.]

Wouldn't that require you coming back with me, rather than going to where you were meant to be?

[...aww, Kagerou.]

I was joking, man, my friendship isn't contingent on any kind of expectations.

[Though Nick does tend to have fairly unflappable faith in people.

Also, quit with your logic, Kagerou. Logic has no place here.]

I don't know, I've always wanted to visit Japan.

[He's not sure he buys this whole 'other worlds' thing. Especially given what he recently found out about his own world, that he never knew.]

You don't expect anything of your friends? Nothing at all?

[Was it wrong, then, to expect things of Shadowmaru? He'd never expected anything the other 'bot hadn't been capable of... but still.]

[He regards him, silently, from where his chin rests on his knees. Despite looking and sounding like someone fresh out of Japan... he has very bright green eyes. Weirdo.]

[It's a long silence.]

I didn't think there was anyone like me, where you came from. No AI.

I have faith in them, trust them to be what they can be and to do what I know they can do. But everyone makes mistakes, everyone thinks they've failed or let people's expectations down. I'm not going to stop being friends with anyone because of that.

[Nick's let himself and other people down too much to ever hold it against someone else. He's much harder on his expectations of himself than of his friends.

While Kagerou watches him, Nick looks back, silently observing. When he finally speaks, Nick smiles a bit and shrugs one shoulder.]

I didn't think fairy tales were real where I came from, either, but I found out recently I was wrong. I wouldn't be surprised to find there was AI there, too.

... I'll try to remember that. In case either of those things happen between us.

[He's trying, here. But he's only a prototype. What can he offer?]

[But then he shakes his head. While he and Shadowmaru hadn't been made public, the others certainly hadn't made any effort to hide themselves.]

The others aren't a secret. If they were present, I would think you would have heard.

I trust you, man.

[So basically don't worry about it, Kagerou. They're friends, and as far as Nick's concerned, Kagerou's already proved himself. Plus, he has that whole Grimm instinct thing.

That last bit kind of deflates his theory a little, though.]

Maybe. But I haven't exactly been paying attention to any news that isn't related to homicides in Portland, lately.

[Or Grimm stuff in Europe, but even that, only when it's brought over to Portland.]</small.

Trust me...

[He's more repeating it to himself than he is questioning it. He pulls his knees a little closer to his chest. Trust. He's only been trusted by one other person before.]

[... there's a lot of things he's only experienced with one other person before.]

You wouldn't have noticed discussions of AI, or homicides caused by robotic criminals?

Yeah. You're not going to tell me that I shouldn't, are you?

[Apparently that's a pattern of Nick's, trusting people who aren't used to having it.

But that doesn't mean they don't deserve it.]

...all right, good point. You sure they're known overseas?

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