detectivetroll: (research)
Nick Burkhardt ([personal profile] detectivetroll) wrote2013-08-16 08:47 pm
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You've reached Detective Nick Burkhardt. If this is an emergency, please call 911. Otherwise leave a message and I'll get back to you ASAP.



[Calls, texts, and emails are a-okay! He has both a work email and personal email, and an office phone and cell phone. Just specify which one.]
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synonymouswithdookie: (nooo my zim hair of ziiiim)

[personal profile] synonymouswithdookie 2014-02-13 07:57 am (UTC)(link)
OH GOD WOULD YOU

what no i cant do that im going to throw up all over his stupid pink shirt
detectivetroll: (what that's funny)

[personal profile] detectivetroll 2014-02-13 08:01 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah man of course, using your significant others' friends to help you set up Valentine's Day plans is practically standard. Then it's not like you forgot so much as you're just really good at strategizing and delegating.

[...not that Nick's speaking from experience.]

Okay then that's probably not an option, ruining his shirt will make him even madder.
synonymouswithdookie: (lets pretend that didn't happen)

[personal profile] synonymouswithdookie 2014-02-13 08:06 am (UTC)(link)
i am fucking terrified right now WHY ARE RELATIONSHIPS TERRIFYING NICK nick tell meeeee

fuck i still dont know to do what kind of thing????
detectivetroll: (calm down now)

[personal profile] detectivetroll 2014-02-13 08:11 am (UTC)(link)
I don't know, maybe because they matter, and things that actually matter are pretty damn scary? You're asking the wrong guy, mine don't tend to last longer than a few months.

Take some deep breaths, calm down. What do you tease him more about, his dumb shoes, his stupid fruity drinks, or liking girly stuff?
synonymouswithdookie: (WHY WAS THERE BACON IN THE SOAP)

[personal profile] synonymouswithdookie 2014-02-13 08:18 am (UTC)(link)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHY AM I ASKING YOU THEN

shoes.
detectivetroll: (picture of innocence)

[personal profile] detectivetroll 2014-02-13 08:22 am (UTC)(link)
Because I'm your only hope?

Then go with rose petals in the closet and shoe shopping spree. Then it'll seem like even though you tease him about it, you still want him to have them and be happy.
synonymouswithdookie: (I don't like you.)

[personal profile] synonymouswithdookie 2014-02-13 08:26 am (UTC)(link)
nick

youre my obi wan boooooooooooooy

OK that's a good idea how much do you think something like that would cost
detectivetroll: (good point)

[personal profile] detectivetroll 2014-02-13 08:31 am (UTC)(link)
If you strike me down I'll just come back stronger. Literally.

...with Yuji's shoes? I'd say a couple of hundred bucks.
synonymouswithdookie: i drew these it was meeee (go and shave your giant head of smell)

[personal profile] synonymouswithdookie 2014-02-13 08:32 am (UTC)(link)
what rly

fuck okay. hes lucky i love him i'm gonna drop so much on his damn shoes
detectivetroll: (I'm not amused what)

[personal profile] detectivetroll 2014-02-13 08:35 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah really. Probably. Just go with it, that's what I'm assuming.

He finally found a shoe daddy. You're a good guy, Ray.
synonymouswithdookie: i drew these it was meeee (pitiful HUMAN)

[personal profile] synonymouswithdookie 2014-02-13 08:38 am (UTC)(link)
whatever u say bro

im an AMAZING GUY i just cant fucking remember dates to save my life
detectivetroll: (amused eyebrow raise)

[personal profile] detectivetroll 2014-02-13 08:40 am (UTC)(link)
I'll send you a bunch of warning texts before his birthday. ...and your anniversary.

Now have fun and don't forget to act smug because you totally have a big present planned back at his place.
synonymouswithdookie: (HAVE YOU THE BRAIN WORMS)

[personal profile] synonymouswithdookie 2014-02-13 08:46 am (UTC)(link)
NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK YOU ARE LITERALLY THE MOST AMAZING PERSON ALIVE I'LL PAY YOU BACK ASAP AND BUY YOU LIKE 86 BEERS
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