IC Contact

[detectivetroll]

You've reached Detective Nick Burkhardt. If this is an emergency, please call 911. Otherwise leave a message and I'll get back to you ASAP.



[Calls, texts, and emails are a-okay! He has both a work email and personal email, and an office phone and cell phone. Just specify which one.]

Comments

[detectivetroll]

I don't know, maybe because they matter, and things that actually matter are pretty damn scary? You're asking the wrong guy, mine don't tend to last longer than a few months.

Take some deep breaths, calm down. What do you tease him more about, his dumb shoes, his stupid fruity drinks, or liking girly stuff?

[synonymouswithdookie]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHY AM I ASKING YOU THEN

shoes.

[detectivetroll]

Because I'm your only hope?

Then go with rose petals in the closet and shoe shopping spree. Then it'll seem like even though you tease him about it, you still want him to have them and be happy.

[synonymouswithdookie]

nick

youre my obi wan boooooooooooooy

OK that's a good idea how much do you think something like that would cost

[detectivetroll]

If you strike me down I'll just come back stronger. Literally.

...with Yuji's shoes? I'd say a couple of hundred bucks.

[synonymouswithdookie]

what rly

fuck okay. hes lucky i love him i'm gonna drop so much on his damn shoes

[detectivetroll]

Yeah really. Probably. Just go with it, that's what I'm assuming.

He finally found a shoe daddy. You're a good guy, Ray.

[synonymouswithdookie]

whatever u say bro

im an AMAZING GUY i just cant fucking remember dates to save my life

[detectivetroll]

I'll send you a bunch of warning texts before his birthday. ...and your anniversary.

Now have fun and don't forget to act smug because you totally have a big present planned back at his place.

[synonymouswithdookie]

NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK YOU ARE LITERALLY THE MOST AMAZING PERSON ALIVE I'LL PAY YOU BACK ASAP AND BUY YOU LIKE 86 BEERS