detectivetroll | [Commentlog] | [closed] - backdated to earlier in the human event

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[Commentlog] | [closed] - backdated to earlier in the human event

[After talking with Julian and Kagerou on the journals and promising to drop by their rooms with dinner, Nick heads down to the kitchen. Monroe isn't really coming out of his room at the moment, either, which means Nick is pretty much just a food delivery service tonight.

Maybe he should try to get tips.

After grilling up some chicken, potatoes, and bread, and slicing up tomatoes and cheese, Nick brings the lot up to the barracks. He stops by Julian's room first, knocking on the door and announcing his presence.

He picks up some ale before he goes to Kagerou's room, because hell, if Kagerou's human, he might as well have some beer, too. Even if it isn't an Oregon microbrew.]

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[He appears to process this in silence, toying with the bottle in his hands.]

What if you don't have any of those interlocking parts...? But... you want to make it stronger, anyway?

[Congratulations, Nick. You've progressed from being asked about gay sex to gay robot sex. How does that feel?]

[Silence is good. Silence means he's hopefully getting it, or at least he's not asking any more awkward questions.

Until that. So yes, apparently this conversation can get more weird and more awkward. If ever Nick wanted to know what could top having to explain sex to a man who looked like he was Nick's age, here it is.]

Is this the one you were talking about, back home?

[Nick's assuming yes, though, no matter Kagerou's answer.]

I don't think that's something anyone can tell you. That's the kind of thing you have to try for yourself, to see what works for you both. What you like, what feels good. You could always start with kissing.

[Sorry, Nick. He trusts you not to hurt him, or try and erase him. Which means you're the go-to guy for these kinds of confusing shenanigans. He might look your age, but that's probably due to the Keep being... itself... than his actual age.]

[More silence. Then, slowly, stiffly, he nods.]

Yes... there is no one else that I would want... that I have a connection with.

[He looks a little disappointed with the answer, though. But when he thinks about it -- kissing. Yes, he knows what that is. He'd never tried to though.]

[Thinking about it now...]

I would like to, I think. To kiss.

[Kissing Shadowmaru... that there is a very nice thought.]

[...oh. Well, the trusting part is nice. Nick's glad there's at least someone for Kagerou to go to, even if it's him. Normally that'd be especially if it's him, just... not in this exact situation.]

That kind of connection, anyway. There's more than one kind of connection to have with someone, but usually you only want this kind of connection with one person.

[Nick notices the disappointment, but there's not much he can do about it. He's not exactly equipped to discuss the finer points of robot sex.]

Kissing just for itself is really nice. It doesn't always have to lead to anything.

But after that, it's just... touching. It's learning what your partner likes. Half the fun is in experimenting, figuring out new spots.

[The other half is knowing them so well that you don't even have to try, but Nick hasn't gotten there with anyone, yet, not even Juliette.]

Yes. There's only one I want this with. No one else.

[And that's true. There's no one else he can think of that he'd want to be close to. Closer to. It would be so much easier if that person were here... if things hadn't had to change.]

[His head tilts. He's once more considering this.]

I would do that, too.

I think I'd like to. If... things were different.

That's good to know. A lot of people, it takes them a lot longer to even start to figure that out.

[He's speaking from personal experience, here, given his current relationship troubles. Even before all of this happened.

Nick's quiet for a minute, watching Kagerou closely.]

What about when we get out of here?

I'm not like a lot of people. I... think maybe I always had it figured out.

[If only because there never was anyone else in his life he'd ever wanted to be close to. To be near. To be with.]

[At the question, though, he looks away, toying with the bottle.]

That's what I... what I meant.

It wouldn't be possible. Even when we get out of here.

[Nick smiles a bit at that.]

No, you're definitely not like a lot of people I know. But yeah, I get that. Realizing you've known something for a long time, and wondering why you hadn't thought about it earlier.

[He considers, debating letting it go at that, or asking more. But well, why not? That's what drinking beers like this is for, anyway.]

Why not?

I'm not like anyone. Here, or back there, either. [He quiets again, and nods.] But... I didn't know it was possible, earlier.

[He takes a deep breath, blowing it out slowly. That's a new sensation, but a calming one. This is never an easy story to tell.]

... If I go back, I'll be captured. Erased. Killed.

And... I promised him I would live.

[Essentially promising never to return, never to see the reason he exists. Again.]

You're not. But in all fairness, no one is. It's just something to like about you.

[Though it's possibly Nick's biased, considering a lot of his friends aren't exactly what could be thought of as normal.

...and that isn't anything like what Nick was expecting. He knows Kagerou'd been on the run, from people who wanted to do that, but he hadn't connected it to the one Kagerou'd left behind.]

The people who want to do that to you, he's with them?

Is it really? I hadn't thought of it that way.

[No, really, he hadn't thought of it like that. He was always different. It set him apart from the other Brave Police units. Even from Shadowmaru...]

[There's a little shrug, and he pulls his knees up to his chest.]

He was made to be a part of their team. So... yes. I can only assume he joined them...

... after he let me escape.

Maybe not to everyone, but it is to me. I may not look it, but I'm different, too.

[He had been even growing up, though apparently he has a reason for that, now.]

'He was made to.' So I'm guessing he didn't have much of a choice?

[Nick has a thing about choices, man. Lately everyone's been trying to take his away from him, because of what he apparently is.]

You're right. You don't look it. You... just look human.

[And all human beings are exactly the same, right, Kagerou?]

[He shrugs again, resting his chin on his knees.]

Neither one of us did, no. But I was... happy. To have him as the reason I existed. He was worth living for. He still is.

But he was meant to be a part of them. They needed someone with his capabilities.

I thought I was. But I'm a Grimm. I can see things, do things, that most humans can't.

[That's all right, if Nick can tell Kagerou about sex, he can teach him that not all humans are the same.

Nick frowns slightly at that. It sounds familiar, being needed, being meant to do something, even if it conflicts with what you wanted.]

When we get back, couldn't he leave? Escape, like you did?

You're grim? See what?

[He's trying to understand this. Really, he is.]

[His head cants to the side again, that same, animal like jerk.]

Why would he?

He's... where he should be, after all.

A Grimm. It's a family name, apparently. And I see... well, creatures. What Monroe turned into, back when we were getting Change out? Where I'm from, humans can't see that.

[In all honesty, Nick's still trying to understand this. It's kind of a figure it out as he goes thing.]

But it doesn't sound like he's where he wants to be.

But I saw it. Is that because I'm not human, either?

[Maybe he couldn't see it now... but he hadn't been human at the time.]

[He shakes his head again.]

I don't know that. He seemed fine. I can't... answer that for him...

Probably, yeah. Or for all I know, in a place that randomly turns everyone human, the rules could work differently, here. But I can see him, them, even when they don't want me to.

[So far that, at least, had been working reasonably well here.

Nick tilts his head at that, considering.]

You could ask him, when we get back.

You should ask the other humans. See if your theory is right.

[He shuts his eyes, as if in pain. Then he shakes his head.]

I've said I can't do that. I can't speak to him.

... I can't see him.

That's a good idea.

[Although he'll have to figure out what he's going to say carefully, since he doesn't want to out Monroe.]

You could call him. Email him, find a go between?

[His expression flickers. The barest of smirks. Not even a real smile, but, hey. It's a start.]

I have them, from time to time.

[As for the question, he shakes his head.]

Doing that... I would need a way to do all of that. I don't think there would be any humans willing to help someone like me.

[It's good enough for Nick, man, he's used to dealing with someone whose default expression is 'ridiculously cranky.' He counts that as a win, and gives a bit of a smirk back.]

Shouldn't have said that, now I'll expect more.

[Nick bites the corner of his lip lightly, thinking.]

There must be someone. Hell, I could help.

[It vanishes abruptly, as the ninjabot ducks his head, as if embarrassed.]

I'm used to high expectations.

[After all, he had to outdo Shadowmaru, didn't he? In order to better train him.]

Wouldn't that require you coming back with me, rather than going to where you were meant to be?

[...aww, Kagerou.]

I was joking, man, my friendship isn't contingent on any kind of expectations.

[Though Nick does tend to have fairly unflappable faith in people.

Also, quit with your logic, Kagerou. Logic has no place here.]

I don't know, I've always wanted to visit Japan.

[He's not sure he buys this whole 'other worlds' thing. Especially given what he recently found out about his own world, that he never knew.]

You don't expect anything of your friends? Nothing at all?

[Was it wrong, then, to expect things of Shadowmaru? He'd never expected anything the other 'bot hadn't been capable of... but still.]

[He regards him, silently, from where his chin rests on his knees. Despite looking and sounding like someone fresh out of Japan... he has very bright green eyes. Weirdo.]

[It's a long silence.]

I didn't think there was anyone like me, where you came from. No AI.

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