detectivetroll | [Closed Commentlog]

I messed up no matter how anyone thinks about it. Lets just leave it at that.

[Yes leave it at that and never talk about it again. Ever. Monroe doesn't like to think about how he's gotten his friends killed.

Monroe stops himself from saying something close to 'how would you know' and takes the comforting words even thought he's not sure he can believe it. If anyone else had been responsible Monroe would be right there saying the same thing. Hap didn't blame people, and he'd forgive. But it seems wrong to just decide that Hap would have forgiven him. When he responds it's clear he doesn't really believe it, he just wants the conversation to end.]

Thanks.

[Huh good point.]

Yeah, I guess it kind of is. Never really thought much of it until I got stuck being human.

[Monroe starts to answer about why it matters, but then realizes that he has nothing good to say to that. Especially without mentioning why he like to smell him. For the first time ever Monroe wishes Nick was a Blutbad just so he wouldn't have to expalin. But then Nick would know too much. No it's a good thing that Nick is a Grimm. ~~he probably wouldn't smell as good either~~]

It just does?

[Nick isn't sure he's happy about just dropping it at that and never talking about it again, but he figures it's for the best.

There's a reason they haven't talked about this. Nick knows very well how easy it is to blame yourself for something, even when there's nothing you could have done. It's a hell of a lot easier when you know you screwed up. He knows there's nothing he can say to fix it, to get Monroe to stop feeling guilty, and maybe he shouldn't even try. Except.]

You're still the person I trust most, Monroe. Always will be.

[Nick smiles slightly at that.]

Neither did I. Apparently sometimes you don't think about things until they're gone. Or until your best friend is freaking out about not being able to smell you.

[That's not a helpful answer at all, Monroe. Would explaining be so bad?]

I'm already going to figure that you're doing it, even if it's not obvious.

[No it's a great idea to never talk about it again. It should become a thing for them to never talk about it again. Nick'll see how great it works.

We're talking about how I got some one killed and your resopmonce is to say you trust me?

His tone has a clear exasperated 'you're and idiot' quality to it. On the other hand it does make his feel better. At least he never messed that up. And Monroe knows he's never going to make the same kind of mistake with Nick. He's got your back dude. Even if his track record isn't the best right now.]

[Monroe smiles at him. Nick called him is best friend. Shut up it's normal to get happy when someone does that.]

No kidding.. But at least it's coming back. [Pause] Right?

[You smell amazing and I want to jump you because of it and some other Blutbad stuff and some normal human stuff. Yup, it'd be horrible.]

Yeah but at least then it falls into one of those categories of things we son't talk about.

[Like Hap.]

[Yeah, they'll see how great that works. And if it ends up getting brought up again. Monroe did it in the first place, man, but fine. Nick's dropping it.]

You're talking about that. I'm talking about something I don't blame you for, and the dozensnof times you've saved my ass.

[Nick shrugs, mostly a gesture to disguise that he's uncomfortable, particularly with his next statement.]

You're not the only one who's made a mistake, and blamed yourself for getting someone hurt.

[Yeah, okay, Nick's good with changing the subject. And apparently making Monroe smile with his half-snark, that's always good.]

All the evidence says it's coming back, so yeah. You'll be normal again in no time.

[It doesn't even occur to him that he's officially referring to a Blutbad as normal. When did this become his life, ma.

And then he rolls his eyes.]

Dude, I wasn't suggesting we talk about it. You just don't have to hide it, or whatever.

[Nick will see. It will work great. And Monroe won't make that mistake again. And thanks. Back to the land of denial and self loathing. It's not a nice place. Don't come visit.

Monroe shifts uncertainly. He wasn't expecting that. And Nick pretty much just knocked all the wind out of his sails. Ok, Nick wins. He's folding.]

Oh.

[Now Monroe feels like an idiot for not thinking about Nick's feeling about things. He's not used to having to think about that. Life was easier when he didn't talk to anyone. Miserable but easier.]

Nick, you're not- You did- She'll be alright.

[He cuts himself off. How does he do what Nick did? He looks a little lost at Nick. You get it right man?

Monroe breaths a sigh of relief.]

Just avoid dragging me into the dungeons until I'm back to being me.

[It became his life when he wouldn't leave a man eating Blutbad alone. So this is really all Nick's fault.]

Yeah well.

[Grumbles grumbles]

[That wasn't a mistake. It was a little awkward, sure, but only because there really isn't a right answer. Nick doesn't mind talking about it. But maybe next time, there could be alcohol involved.

And good. That was Nick's plan. He just smiles a bit at Monroe's 'oh,' one corner of his mouth quirking upwards, but he'd agreed to drop it, so he's going to do that. But then Monroe says - that, and it takes Nick a moment to figure out what he's talking about.]

I didn't mean that. I meant, killing the Mellifer queen and saving Adalind, getting Hank into trouble with that. Sending you after the Lowen Games. And there's been - other times. We don't always catch the bad guy in time.

[It hurts the worse when it's because of something Nick didn't find, or couldn't see.]

But yeah. That too. I'm starting to think she'd be more all right without being involved with me.

[How did they end up talking about this again? Nick pushes one hand through his hair, more than happy to move on from this.]

I think we'll avoid a lot of places until you're back.

[Nick does rely on Monroe's nose a lot. ...also yeah, okay, it pretty much is Nick's fault. But still. He grins a bit when all Monroe can do is grumble.]

Yeah. See? I don't get why it's a big deal, anyway.

[Alcohol would be a good way to talk about this. Bring some next time. They're running out in his room.

He messed things up didn't he? Like really messed things up. Crap.]

Oh, yeah I meant those too.

[Really man oops.]

Oh come on man. She's crazy about you. No one that's met you would think they'd be better off without knowing you.

[Not that he means himself at all. Yeah they should just move on.]

That mean you're not going to try dragging me out of this room for awhile?

[Finally. He can hide in his room in peace.

It's not a big deal but it's still a deal.]

Of course you can't you're not a Blutbad. You don't know what things mean.

[They wouldn't be running out if Monroe didn't sit in his room and drink it all. Nick should instate a rule that Monroe's not allowed to drink anything Nick brings over without Nick there.

No, he didn't mess things up. Just changed the conversation from one awkward, tense subject to another. Nick snorts, but doesn't say anything to that. Right, clearly that's what Monroe meant, too.]

Right, except for the part where I can't ever tell her who I am, or what I do with my time, why I'm always late and missing things, why people are attacking me in my house or kidnapping her out of it, and if she ever does accidentally find out, she'll probably lose her mind.

[No, but really, how did this subject happen? Monroe was right the first time, when he said this was a conversation they needed to be having at midnight over a lot of beers. Definitely not when Nick's concern was Monroe being stuck human.]

Nice try. Come on, man, you know I'm always going to drag you places. We're still doing Tai Chi, and maybe now I can get you to go running with me.

[Nick raises an eyebrow at that. Wait, now it means something, more than just Monroe using one of his senses?]

Usually that's when you step in and tell me I'm stupid, and then explain what Blutbad thing I'm missing. What does it mean?

[Then Nick better not plan on leaving. Besides its not like he's getting drunk.

Sorry man. He's not a good liar but he tried.]

You can't just blame it on detective work? You had to have kept weird hours before you started seeing faces woge out.

[They can go get more beers. Monroe will even go with him since he doesn't have to worry about hurting anyone. And Monroe like the attention being on Nick.

He starts to say no to the running but cuts himself off. He doesn't have to worry about instincts and running for now. He could go with Nick.]

Yeah sure. At least while I'm a boring normal human.

[Uh no it doesn't. And he just said a lot more than he was planning on saying. There's no chance Nick is just going to drop it right. He shifts awkwardly.]

It's sort of like a way to communicate. You know like the fence thing. Things that belong to you smell like you.

[Nick already spends most of the day with him, anyway. And drinking alone is still sad, whether or not Monroe's getting drunk.

Yeah, Nick knows that really well.]

I did. I don't know, she's - not as okay with it, any more. That night, at the Lowen Games? That was our anniversary, and I pretty much missed it. I made a choice, and it's one I'll have to make again. And I'm almost always going to make the same decision. The fact that I have to hide everything from her isn't helping at all.

[Or they could just be done talking about this. Nick's really good with not talking about how his relationship might be unsalvageable. Particularly not while there's nothing he can do about it. Don't worry, it'll go back to Monroe soon enough.

Yeah, that was pretty much Nick's plan. Then maybe he can get him to continue.]

That's a start. But I got your meds, for when you're back to being you again.

[There's zero chance that Nick's going to drop it. Especially with a comment like that. Nick raises an eyebrow.]

'Belong to you,' is that how we're defining this relationship now?

Edited 2012-09-15 01:11 (UTC)

[Well he's a pretty sad people, so it's fitting.

He'll work on it?

And now Monroe feels a little bad about the anniversary thing. Not that he would have wanted Nick to do anything differently. He just didn't mean for Nick's relationship to suffer. And he feels bad for having no clue what was going on.]

Oh, sorry dude. I didn't realize.

[Oh Monroe is stopping. He has nothing useful to say other than maybe Nick should just give up. But Monroe can't say that for hundreds of reasons. Nick if you wanna drop this, consider it dropped.

That's pretty sneaky Nick.]

Thanks again for getting those.

[Damn it. Monroe's eye's go wide.]

What? No! that's not what I meant! It's just that, like this room is mine. So it smells like me, but it smells like you too since you're in here all the time. But that's ok since it's you. If it was someone else then I'd have to do something about it.

[Did that make things better or worse?]

[Or Monroe could always not be sad.

Good boy.

Nick's relationship'd be suffering anyway, the anniversary thing was just one part of many. And the only reason he has no clue what's going on is because, well, Nick hasn't wanted to talk about it. He's not stupid, he knows that if he actually talked to someone about everything that's been going on with him and Juliette, pretty much the only response would be '...yeah, dude, you guys need to just break up.']

Don't be sorry, man, you didn't do anything but what I asked you to. I don't regret the choice I made. And like I said, it's - everything.

[But now that Nick's actually talking about this, it's like he can't stop. Maybe because Monroe's the only one who actually knows about the whole Grimm thing being a problem in a relationship, because Nick's already come to Monroe about this once or twice. Though granted, that'd been before things were this bad. He pushes his hand through his hair.]

I proposed to her, that weekend in the woods. She said no. Said she couldn't, not as long as I kept hiding things from her and keeping myself distant.

[Nick is awesome at being sneaky. On occasion.]

Not a problem. Of course, pretty sure the doctor thinks I'm unstable.

[But who cares about that, right? Especially not when Monroe's apparently flustered now.]

...so if the scent thing is like you marking your territory, then me being in here all the time and making it smell like me is basically saying that I belong here? Or, what, it's mine, too? But that's okay because...I'm me?

[Because what? Monroe's used to Nick shoving his way into things? They're friends, so it's okay? Or is it some Blutbad thing?]

What would you have to do?

[But it's Monroe. It's one of his loveable traits.

Grumbles.

Well maybe Nick and her should break up.]

Everything is a lot of stuff, man.

[Ok Monroe has no idea what to say to that. While thinking of what someone who understood relationships and social interactions, Monroe grabs two beer, and hands one to Nick.]

That's rough, man. I'm sorry.

[That's what he's supposed to say right?

Monroe snorts.]

Well better you than me. And if things go right then you won't be seeing her much.

[He's not flustered. He's... He's... shut up.]

Yeah pretty much.

[Close enough and it Monroe says yes then they he won't have to explain anything else or accidentally reveal anything he shouldn't. Full sarcasm mode activated.]

Get better at locking my door.

[He has plenty more lovable traits than being sad. Like being cranky.

Nick couldn't even if he thought it was best, man. It's not like she's here.]

Yeah, tell me about it.

[It's not midnight, but beers are more than welcome. One out of the two counts, right? Nick takes it with a smile that's partly grateful, partly self-depreciating.]

Story of my life lately. But thanks.

[And then his smile turns amused, and his tone switches to sarcasm.]

Thanks. And I don't know, she's just a prisoner like us, who happens to be a doctor. Apparently the doctor that's supposed to be on staff has pretty much disappeared.

[He's flustered. It's kind of hilarious, but also endearing.

Nick's response to all of that is an eyebrow raise.]

You know, the more you hedge and try not to actually answer me, the more I think you're hiding something bad. 'Yeah pretty much' to all of that means, what, your room is our territory and we need to keep other people out of it?

[And putting up with Nick and his shenanigans.

Oh right. Well never-mind?]

I'm sorry man. Maybe she won't lose her marbles if you tell her?

[Yup that was definitely the wrong thing to say. His bad. Just go back to ignoring him. Or not asking him for his opinion. Or encouraging him to talk.

Monroe nods at Nick instead of answering. He has nothing useful to say. other than 'you should dumb your girlfriend and date me'.]

Oh great. That's comforting!

"I'd say yeah, pretty much but I've got a feeling that'll just make things worse."

He takes a breath and a moment to think before starting.

"This isn't something I'm used to explaining. This is my territory, especially with how off my control was when we got here. You're safe. I know you. If anyone else kept invading in here I'd be freaked."

[However outwardly begrudgingly he does so.

Yeah. That makes it pretty awkward.

Nick doesn't even bother to reply to that at first, just raises an eyebrow at Monroe. Yeah. This from the guy that frequently warned him about how bad it could be?]

It doesn't matter, anyway. There's nothing I can do about it now.

[He'll just go back to being in denial for a while, since even if he makes a decision, it won't do him any good. But also, no. Nick likes asking Monroe for his opinion, and encouraging him to talk. It's what he does.

And then return of the raised eyebrow.]

You think?

[But Nick falls quiet at the explanation, considering. Yeah, he gets that, about knowing him and being safe. It's one of the reasons Nick had been glad Monroe was there, slightly guiltily, because having the one person he trusted implicitly there was making this easier to handle.]

Yeah, okay, I get that. You're the only one I trust with a lot of stuff, too. So in Blutbaden terms, that means, what, this is a pack?

[Sorry man.

He ducks his head slightly at the raised eyebrow. Yeah he knows. He drums his fingers on his pants legs. Come on Monroe!]

Sorry dude.

[Yeah that would probably be the smart thing to do. And probably what Monroe would do in his position.

Also Monroe is just going to ignore that comment Nick.

Return of shocked face. It's clear from his facial expression that Nick hit the nail on the head. Shit! How does he do that.]

Uuuuh...

[Well as long as Monroe knows it was dumb. Nick smiles a bit when Monroe says he's sorry, shaking his head slightly.]

Me too.

[He's also ready to be done talking about this, though apparently Monroe isn't at all thrilled with the change of subject.

So unthrilled that he's just staring in shock, and not saying anything.]

I guess I should take that as a yes.

[His eyebrow's raised again, but it lowers, brows furrowing, as he processes that.]

That's not bad, is it? You said there could be trouble, if you got into packs.

[Yup dropping this now. This conversation never happened. He'll just be over here now.

How does Nick always figure this stuff out?]

That would probably be wise.

[Ok he can do this. And he can do this without saying more than he should. He just has to keep positive. He's doomed.]

No it's not. Unless you think it is. Which I'd get. No one wants to get sucked in a pack without their consent. It just there's not much I can do about-

[He's rambling and slightly panicking. And getting close to saying something he shouldn't. After a pause he get's himself back on track.]

There won't be any trouble, ok? You're not a Blutbad. And so long as you encourage me to start hunting people we'll- I'll be fine.

[Because Nick's a detective, and it's sort of his job to figure things out?

Nick stays silent while Monroe explains, even when he rambles a bit, because it's pretty obvious that this isn't something Monroe's comfortable talking about, and he doesn't want to say anything that makes it worse.

Or that makes him stop explaining, because this is something Nick really needs to know about.]

It's fine, man. I don't exactly know how it works, or anything, but you know I trust you.

[That's probably not enough, is it? Nick should say more, he can tell Monroe's freaking out a little. He shrugs slightly.]

We always have each others' backs, right? As far as I'm concerned, you're the closest thing to family I have. So no, I don't think it's bad.

[Damn.

Nick is welcome to interrupt. Monroe would welcome it. Especially if he interrupted with a change in topic. That would be awesome just saying.

Actually that was probably the best thing to say right then. Monroe breaths a sigh of relief.]

Yeah, I know man.

[Monroe tries to hide his surprise when Nick casually mentions them being like family. Nick has no clue about anything.]

Alright. Yeah. And look nothing is going to get out of hand.

[Sorry, Monroe. No changes in topic here. He's not getting off that easy, man, Nick needs to know this.

But hey, at least he did something right, there.]

Then we're good.

[Or maybe not, since Nick can pick up on that surprise. What'd he say that warranted that? ...yeah, Nick doesn't really have a clue about much, here.]

Get out of hand?

[Oh come on! Monroe would let Nick get off! Um wait. Crap!]

Yeah dude we're totally good.

[Shit! He knew he'd say something wrong!]

No, nothings going to get out of hand.

[Yup, he's pretending like he didn't understand. It's nothing to worry about Nick.]

[...you want to phrase that differently, Monroe? Because that's kind of awkward.

He gives Monroe's shoulder a squeeze at that, smiling at him.

But it turns into a look of confusion, along with a slightly raised brow, because really, Monroe's going to go the route of not understanding?]

But there'd be something that could get out of hand?

[In his head? Nope, he likes that phrasing. Out loud, he's be back tracking like crazy.

Shut up. This is awkward dude. But thanks for the shoulder grab thing.]

Well if you got attacked or something. I'd have to get involved. But that probably would happen anyway.

[Good thing that was just in his head, then, and not out loud.

Yeah, all right, it is a little awkward. If only because Monroe is awkward about it. But he's still not moving his hand.]

Oh.

[Nick considers that, remembering Monroe's level of involvement when protecting Aunt Marie, his anger at Nick and Holly being threatened by the hunters, concern over Nick going to face Adalind alone, reaction to Waltz threatening Nick and Rosalie. He shrugs a bit.]

Not exactly unexpected, man. It's not like I don't get involved when you get attacked, or otherwise put in danger.

[Monroe likes the thought in his head. They're fun. And Nick never gets to know about them.

Good. Monroe likes it where it is.

Phew. Nick's shrugs means it's alright.]

Exactly. So we're good?

[Unless Nick asks about them.

He does have to let go at some point. But not yet. Nick smiles at that.]

Always, man.

[Okay, that's enough serious talk for the night.]

Let's see what we're going to do about dinner.

[Closed Commentlog]

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